Five Adults Who Know Your Name

In the 1980's, there was a sit-com on regular TV called Cheers. I did not watch it regularly but a couple of lines from the theme song came to my mind, and so this is how I am starting this month's blog.

"Sometimes you wanna go Where everybody knows your name And they're always glad you came" (Cheers Theme by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart-Angelo 1983)

I know when I come to church, that I am going to be greeted by many smiling people and they will ask me about important happenings in my life. I also know that everyone who comes in the door (if they're not late) receives the same type of greeting. It's important for all to feel welcome. But, how many of us greet the kids in the same way?

Pastor Chas put a question in my head: Can you think of five adults that made you feel like you mattered and were an important part of the church as a youth in the church? This made me think about now and whether we are connecting with the youth.

One article I read was about the subject of how to keep teenagers in church through high school and into their college years. "Simply put, adults can invest in teens by learning their names, greeting them each week, asking them a question about their week and following up on the conversation in the next week." and according to LifeWay Research, “teens who had five or more adults from the church invest in them during the ages of 15 to 18 were less likely to leave the church after high school.” (https://www.christiancentury.org/article/2013-05/sticky-faith).

Another article I read said this: "Rather than aiming to have one adult leader for every five students, it’s better to aim for connecting every teen with five adults who are willing to invest in the teen in some way, even if rather small (https://research.lifeway.com/2021/07/01/the-most-pivotal-age-to-keep-young-adults-in-church/).

I think that we, as a church, need to start building relationships with our youth long before they become teenagers. I don't think that this means you have to be a "leader.". You can start to connect by introducing yourself and saying "Hello." I know that the kids I have in Children's Worship can be shy when an adult they don't know tries to talk to them but they were also very shy with me when we started Children's Worship or they started coming down to Children's Worship. Just by saying hello, you will begin to get to know the child and they you. Imagine how that child's confidence would grow if they knew five adults "friends" at church that they could go up to and tell them about their favorite subject at school. This effort does not involve being a leader of an activity but, who knows, it might lead to that.

I started thinking back to when Lenny and I joined the church and it was not hard for me to think of five unrelated adults that connected with me and that kept us going to this church. I asked our boys if they could think of five adults that made them feel valued and they also quickly came up with names. Many of the names they gave me were not the adults who were in charge of PYO (Presbyterian Youth Organization), but adults who led an activity; activities such as building birdhouse that were put out at the City Lake, looking at Saturn's rings through a telescope, baking muffins on a Sunday morning, Christmas floats and Nativity scenes, and having a "lock in" on a Friday night.

My hope is that the theme song for Cheers will apply to us at our church, that our kids will:

"Always wanna go

Where everybody knows your name

And they're always glad you came,"

and won't be coming just sometimes (and eventually not coming at all) because they think nobody cares if they are there.

--Tina